Piles of Confusion
by Amaya Embrill
Summary: What happens when a procrastination Colonel gets buried in his paperwork...literally?RoyxRiza oneshot


Hey there again! I'm back. I have another one-shot for all of you. Just so you know, there is a vague reference to my previous fic, Drunken Encounters. It only serves to explain a reaction nothing more. So if you would like please read it first, but be for warned the previous one is a lemon. Otherwise, as always flames will be accepted if they provide an explanation. So enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters in it.

Roy was buried in paperwork, and not just figuratively speaking. The Colonel's desk top was completely submerged in papers and the stacks had grown so tall only the longest of the strands of his unruly black hair could be seen from over them. He tapped his pen on the only bit of exposed desk, his face resting lightly in one hand, his eyes wandering over to his subordinates desk. 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye sat calmly at her desk, back straight, organizing the last of the papers on its surface. He turned his head back to the piles in front of him and heaved a sigh as he eyed them wearily…which was a bad decision.

The stack directly before him wobbled dangerously, before toppling over on top of the surprised Colonel, the remaining papers following the first pile to the ground. Riza gave a disgruntled sigh, hearing the sound of a mass amount of rustling papers and believing that the Colonel was sabotaging his work again, turned in her seat to check on him. Seeing the mound of falling papers and not the Colonel, the Lieutenant began to chuckle softly.

After a moment of digging to reach the surface of the now large pile of paperwork, Roy poked his head out of the top and took a deep satisfying breath of free air. The sound of the Lieutenant's quiet laughter came over to his now uncovered ears, causing him to look over at her slightly bent from as she laughed a little harder seeing his face emerge from the pile. A faint smirk came to the still trapped man's face, as he stopped struggling to remove himself from the mound.

"Are you going to continue laughing, or are you going to help me?" He tilted his head to one side, the piece of paper that had previously perched itself on top of his head, fluttered lightly down to join its companions. Hawkeye lost all composure at that point and bent completely in half laughing raucously into her knees. Roy rose to his feet and stepped over the clutter to where the Lieutenant was rolling with mirth and stood smirking down at her.

Riza looked up from her knees seeing the Colonel watching her and she attempted to stop laughing. She snickered loudly for a moment before stopping completely and sitting straight up, composed once more.

"Are you quite finished, Lieutenant?" Roy tucked one hand into his pocket, causing a stray paper to poke out the top of his jacket. Riza snorted loudly, and lost it again, doubling over in laughter as Roy undid his coat, to remove the rest of his papers from his clothing. He shook the jacket out after removing it from his shoulders, as Riza looked up and snickered again.

"What exactly is funny this time, Lieutenant?" His tone was cold and aggravated as he tossed his jacket onto his paper-covered chair, turning to face her as he rested one hand on the smooth surface of his desk.

"There's more in your shirt, sir." Groaning loudly, Roy stripped his white undershirt off over his head in one motion, before turning to look at the still chuckling Lieutenant in irritation. She was laughing again and he rested his hand on the surface of his desk again as he looked at her.

Riza looked up at the Colonel as he removed his shirt, her eyes falling on his abs and trailing upward following the tail of the man's undershirt. Her mind froze as she realized what it was that attracted so many women to him. A side from being tall and lean, he was well toned and the sight of his muscles rippling just beneath his skin made her breath catch. Well…that is until she saw his shoulder. The words that had half stuck to his chest sounded crudely absurd as she read them in her head, and she snorted again with laughter.

"Is there more to this paper escapade or has the sight of my bare chest made you crazy, Hawkeye?"

"The ink apparently hadn't dried on all of the papers, sir." Roy looked down at his chest, seeing the black smears but decided to leave it be. He would shower when he got home.

"I'll deal with it later."

"As you wish, sir, but perhaps you can explain to me what an assation empt is." By this point, Roy had shoved the paperwork out of his desk chair and flopped down to face the amused officer. She had reclined herself on her desk, using one elbow to prop herself up, and had a lingering smile on her face.

"If it bothers you to read what has apparently stuck to my skin, then why don't you get me something to clean it off with?"

"Yes, sir." With that the subordinate officer left the room, with Roy still looking at the mess around him. He had been looking for a way to put her in a good mood, but he had not expected it to be at his expense. He just needed a little more time before he was ready to ask her.

Moments later, Hawkeye came back into the room carrying a small bowl of water and a white cloth. She placed both on the now bare surface of the desk, and moved back to her own, sitting in her chair while still facing the Colonel. Roy was still staring at her as Hawkeye sat down, watching him.

"I don't believe that I can reach all of the ink marks, Hawkeye." He stared at her patiently, but she simply returned his gaze, snapping her fingers.

"Damn."

"A little assistance would be nice." Hawkeye came back to her feet and walked closer to the Colonel's desk. She lifted the cloth and dipped it in the bowl, wringing it out so that it was only damp. She moved slowly around the chair and sat on her feet behind him, placing the damp cloth against his lower back.

Roy stiffened in the chair, the muscles in his lower back tightening in response to the cloth on his skin. Riza's hand stilled where it was, and she looked up at the Colonel in mock confusion.

"Is something the matter, sir?"

"No, nothing at all," he hissed, trying to stop his body from trembling under her soft touch. "You just might have warned me that it was so DAMN cold!" He heard her chuckle softly under her breath as she ran the cloth along his back, scrubbing at ink stains on his body. The cool water slowly turned warm as the ink was scrubbed off of his skin. Hawkeye gestured for Roy to pass her the bowl of water, which he did with some mild hesitation. She rinsed the cloth out, drops of black water dripping from between her fingers as she wrung it out again.

She came up on her knees, scrubbing at the Colonel's back as her fingers came over his shoulder. The door to the office burst open suddenly, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes strolling casually into the room, a grin lingering on his face.

"Hey Roy! So did you…" He stopped, looking at the shirtless Colonel and seeing only the Lieutenant's head peaking over Roy's shoulder. He stood in the doorway blinking at the pair of them, his gaze shifting from one to the other. Slowly his face broke into a grin. "I knew you two would end up together." And then he turned and ran out the door.

Roy and Hawkeye blinked at the retreating Hughes, before looking at each other, unsure of what Hughes had meant. Riza shrugged her shoulders and went back to rubbing at the ink on Roy's body. It took almost an hour for all of the black marks to be removed from his skin, Roy fighting to keep from trembling as the cold water was rubbed over his body.

As Roy was sliding his shirt back over his head when both he and Hawkeye looked up at the sound of commotion in the courtyard just below the office window. Fastening the last of the buttons on his white shirt, Roy went to the window, pulling the curtains back so he could look at what was taking place below. He paused, blinking at what he saw, before narrowing his eyes and glaring at the man below, holding a microphone and a pointing stick as he gestured at the large sketch behind him.

Hughes stood, talking to the masses before him, pointing at the pair of stick figures behind him, labeled with the names Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye. He reached reflexively for his coat pocket, forgetting that he had discarded it in an effort to relieve himself of the paperwork of the day. Not taking his eyes from the Lieutenant Colonel, Roy called over his shoulder to Riza.

"Hawkeye, would you please hand me my gloves, I need to kill Hughes."

"What for, sir?" She looked at his back, clad only in his tight-fitting undershirt, curiously. It was still hanging limply around his hips, waiting to be tucked in, as Roy leaned close to the glass, easing it open as he kept his gaze directed below.

"I will show you when you come over here, but please get my gloves first. Their in the left inside jacket pocket."

"Yes, sir." Riza went to Roy's chair, lifting the jacket to her eye level, as she dug into the pocket in question and pulling the gloves free. She was just turning to face the Colonel when something caught her eye. She turned the gloves over in her hands studying them, unsure what had drawn her attention. Pulled down over two of the fingers, keeping the gloves attached, was a small silver band, a single diamond resting flat in the band. Curious, she looked up at the Colonel's back, as he continued to watch Hughes in the courtyard.

"Colonel, what is this on your gloves, sir?" Roy didn't look at her as he kept his eyes on the other man down below. Then her words hit his mind, and he turned and looked carefully at the woman holding his gloves loosely in her fingers.

"What does it look like, Lieutenant?" She looked up at him, unsure. She knew damn good and well what it was, why would he ask her.

"A ring, sir?" Roy looked at her, leaning against the window frame as he interlaced his fingers. Riza's heart leapt in her chest, was he doing what she thought… no, Roy would never do something like that.

"Why is there a ring on your gloves, sir?" Sighing, Roy lifted on hand, resting his face against three fingers. Did she really not get it, or was she just teasing him?

"Let me try this again. What KIND of ring is it, Lieutenant?" Riza turned her gaze down to the ringed gloves in her hands, studying it carefully. _What does he want me to say, I know what it is. Why would he have an engagement ring on his gloves? Who would he possibly be thinking of asking._

"Who is it for, sir? Have I met her?" Roy almost dropped his jaw at the question. Was she really that oblivious, or was she just avoiding the question?

"Riza…" The Lieutenant cut him off before he could finish.

"My apologies, sir. That was out of line. Your personal life is none of my business." She tossed the Colonel his gloves, ring and all, then turned to the mound of papers on the ground and started to pick them up and sort them into piles on Roy's desk again.

Roy caught his gloves and watched as Riza straightened his mess in the floor. Smirking slightly, he slid the ring off the glove where he had put it, and pulled the right glove onto his hand. He turned from the window, snapping his fingers, and was pleased to hear the recognizable yelp of Hughes voice. He walked over to the busy woman, who was bent over at the waist picking up papers as he watched her work. He stood behind her and with a smirk still lingering on his face, he brushed his hand along her butt.

Riza was bent over, stuffing her arms full of Roy's fallen papers, before straightening and placing them in a stack on the desk. She was grabbing her third arm load of paperwork, when she felt Roy's hand rub across her rear. She stiffened and stood up, not dislodging the Colonel's hand.

"Remove your hand." Her words were slow and angry as she refused to turn and look at him.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Riza." She stiffened more at the sound of her name from his lips, but did not look at him, one hand heading for her hip and the pistol she kept there.

"Why not?"

"I think it's stuck."

"No it is not, sir. Now move your hand."

"I already told you I can't." Riza's hand reached for the handle of her gun, only to find it had been removed from her person. Sagging her shoulders, she turned and looked at the Colonel, shifting her body so that she was facing him, but he did not move his hand.

"Where is my gun?"

"I thought it best that you not be armed right now."

"Why is that, sir?

"Because I want you to marry me."

"WHAT!" Riza stepped away from the Colonel, losing her footing in the papers and falling backward into the mound, pulling Roy over with her as he braced in an attempt to catch her. She landed with both her elbows out behind her propping her up at a slight angle. Roy's lean body was hovering between her legs, his shirt having come up to reveal a little of his well built abdomen, his hand still firmly planted where it had been prior to the fall. Pinned beneath his body, she looked up into his eyes, startled.

"I want you to marry me, Riza," he whispered softly to her, sliding his free hand along the side of her face.

"You've been drinking."

"On the contrary. I haven't had anything since last night." Riza's face flushed at the last statement, and pressed firmly against Roy's chest with one hand in an attempt to dislodge him from over her, with no success.

"Please get off of me, sir."

"I will." Riza waited for him to shift but after a few seconds he was still hadn't moved.

"Now, sir."

"When you answer the question."

"Colonel, please move."

"After you answer my question, Riza. Will you?" She flushed darker in anger that he was forcing her to answer.

"I will answer, on one condition." She hissed, her voice soft and dangerous, as she looked up into the Colonel's mischievous ebony eyes. He had a small smirk lingering on his lips, a soft smile resonating in his eyes, it almost chipped her resolve. "No matter what the answer is, you will get off immediately. Is that fair, sir?"

Roy paused before answering the Lieutenant, unsure if there was a catch to what she was saying to him. However, he reminded himself, it was accept what she was offering him or get no answer at all.

"Alright, Riza. You have my word. I will move without complaint immediately upon your response." Riza gave him a soft, sad smile.

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't..." Her words went through him like a knife. She said no?

"Why not?" Riza gave him a disappointed look.

"Off, sir. That was the agreement." Heaving an aggravated sigh, Roy shoved himself to his feet and moved back to his desk, and throwing on his uniform jacket. Turning to the door, he stopped by Riza's desk and placed the ring on its empty expanse.

"Fine, Lieutenant. If that is how you wish it than that's fine." Looking up at her one last time, he buttoned the last of his coat. "Goodnight."

Riza froze where she lay amid the pile of work still on the floor, Roy's broken expression hitting her hard in the stomach as she climbed numbly to her feet. He walked passed her to the door, opening it as she tried to regain control of her emotions.

"Roy." His name feel off of her lips before she could stop it, and the Colonel stopped in the doorway looking over his shoulder at her. She had a few stray papers clinging to her belt as she smiled warmly at him.

"I meant that I'm sorry I can't answer that question, sir. It would be inappropriate for a subordinate to be engaged to her superior officer. If it weren't for that, I'm sure I can think of an appropriate answer for the both of us." Roy smiled, and chuckled that he had missed that loop in her scheme to get him off of her. He understood what she really meant by that last sentence.

"I'm sure I can as well, Lieutenant. I believe that is yours." He gestured to the ring on the desk, and turned to leave the office. "Goodnight, Riza."

"Goodnight, Roy."

So what do you think? I really had fun writting this. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and tell me what you think so I can improve if it needs it.


End file.
